how yoga makes motherhood manageable

mom_and_baby_008

Reading this article today got me thinking and more importantly feeling. It is truly incredible and beyond any words I could write the depth and bigness of emotions I have experienced in motherhood. Like tearing down the thickest fortress walls to find the softest underbelly you could imagine, motherhood has made me feel more raw, vulnerable and exposed then I ever could imagine. I have carried inside me two humans. I have birthed these babies into the world. I have been a mama to them on the outside world for almost 3 years now. Nothing I heard, read or watched could have ever prepared me for how huge the emotions of motherhood would feel.

As I took a walk today at work to grab an iced tea on this sunny day, not unlike I had done so many times this past summer while pregnant with my second baby, I was overcome by a sense of sadness and nostalgia for the warm summer days of pregnancy that so quickly flew by. I feel like I hardly even had the chance to catch my breath during that pregnancy to fully comprehend its gravity and what it would mean for my life. Time marchesΒ forward, one way or another, whether we are prepared for it or not. And I can see my life, like a movie sometimes, stuck in fast forward. I am guilty of wishing stages of my children’s life away, because it feels uncomfortable or too hard. Wishing and longing for their maturity to come more quickly. And then when I have a moment to pause, I grieve about all the moments that have already passed that I maybe treated frivolously.

This is where my yoga practice comes into play. As I feel humbled, exhausted, grateful and full of love by this journey of motherhood, I am thankful that the practice of yoga allows me the room to hold the paradoxes of motherhood, as difficult as it may be, all at once. I’m not even sure why I try to describe the experience of motherhood, though I’m not alone in this effort, when it is such a lived and intangibleΒ process. Life will continue to be full of mystery, especially in my experience of being my mama. And yet if stop trying to grasp so hard or contain it, I realize I am able to feel and experience the beauty, suffering, daily disasters and unconditional love all at once. I am reminded of a mantra I learned during my teacher training called So Hum, translated it means, “I am that I am”. That’s it. It’s so simple. And as I accept that this is where I am at, full of the biggest feelings I have ever known, yet connected and open to what exists at this moment, I don’t feel so overwhelmed. Yes, I know will probably feel overwhelmed again in about five minutes when my 3 year old pushes the grocery bag with 36 eggs in it off the counter or life just happens, but this practice of yoga has not disappeared and is still here, no matter where I go.

Advertisements

About margotyoga

lover of traveling, yoga, reading, loving, motherhood, social justice, meditation, peace, big trees, the ocean, family, dancing, learning, running, playing, laughing and people.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to how yoga makes motherhood manageable

  1. Kate Alexandra says:

    Beautiful and vulnerable. You may not feel words can describe the hugeness, but to someone who’s been there with one baby, my heart surges knowing the soul aching struggle and heart bursting beauty. And as someone pregnant with my second, I feel urgency from you to continue to be present and expand into pregnancy as it is a liminal phase that will be over so quickly before another soul shifting transformation. Thank you for sharing your journey. Hari Om.

    • margotyoga says:

      Thank you Kate for your words! I take great comfort in knowing there are other mamas with me in this journey. Thank you for taking the time to read this and share with me…it is truly an “aching struggle and heart bursting beauty” and I’m so grateful to know I’m not alone. Best wishes for your pregnancy and beyond! Namaste.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s